Our household is a buzz of activity these days because our youngest son, Alex, is getting married in January to his lovely Laura. I love watching them from the viewpoint of 26 years of experience. If I were to write them a letter about what I've learned over the years, I think it would go something like this:
Dear Alex & Laura,
Congratulations on finding the one you want to spend the rest of your life with! What a joy to know that you know the One who created you both and has the best plan for your life together. Here are my Ten Commandments for a Happy Marriage - most of which your dad and I are still working on!
1. Make FAITH HOPE LOVE the foundation of your marriage. Paul was writing this to a group who did not love and it caused divisions within. I promise you, that is not what you want for your home. Make knowledge of the Lord and His word the priority of your home.
2. Be each other's best cheerleader. (Eph. 4:29). Let the criticism come from outside the home...do not talk negatively about each other to others.
3. Don't let unresolved anger or resentment fester (Eph 4:26-27). Don't keep score and don't compete with each other.
4. Alex, really listen to Laura and work at understanding her needs (Eph. 5:28-29). Be the spiritual leader of your home and cherish her as a gift.
5. Laura, you are the only one in the whole world called to be Alex's helpmate. Resolve to know his needs and meet them as best you can with joy. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
6. Commit to regular communication of your feelings in a loving manner (James 1:19-20). Never humiliate each other. Don't let sarcasm in; it's destructive. Don't let pride keep you from saying "I'm sorry".
7. Make your marriage the center of your home, not precious children, should you be so blessed. Resolve to make each other more important than the homes you are leaving. (Gen. 2:24)
8. Give generously (Luke 6:38). Don't expect a return for your giving. It is said true happiness comes when you give.
9. Forgive as you want to be forgiven. (Eph. 4:32). If you don't, you will carry the heavier burden.
10. Make your home a place of peace if at all possible (Romans 12:18). No one is perfect...be patient as the Lord finishes His work in each of you. Be kind and helpful to the other.
Biblical standards still apply today to marriage today, even though that's not what we're hearing. The world will be hungry to see you apply these principles, even when they take much work. Dennis & Barbara Rainey in MOMENTS WITH YOU say: "I believe family is still of utmost importance to our Heavenly Father. It holds the key to our health, our success as a society and our future...and it is worth whatever effort is required to nurture, encourage and support it."
You have been gifts to us and we pray you will be gifts to each other!
Be blessed in your understanding of God's word.
Love,
Mom
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